4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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