i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
