You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
