What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
