its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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