Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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