she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
