i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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