i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
