At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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