It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
