is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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