i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
