I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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