god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Actions speak louder than pants.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
They took my balls.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
