As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
