then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
