gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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