I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
