He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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