the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I'm always down for nudity.
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