I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
