would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Say something about gay babies.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
