We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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