She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize