I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize