Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
