operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
