white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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