also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
