I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
