i just google imaged poop.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
