Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Alive.
So much puke
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
