i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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