I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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