well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
