my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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