So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
