Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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