If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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