the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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