Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
