Your mouth is God's brothel.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize