R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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