Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
