if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
