You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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