his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
