what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
