absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
