we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
