are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
