oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
