This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
