i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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